Wednesday, April 16, 2014

You look beautiful just the way you are!

I was typing away on my keyboard and the nineteen year "foster" child came out of her room with a loud query, "do I look fat?"  She was wearing a new bathing suit that did nothing to hide her curves.  I told her that she looked great and didn't have hardly an ounce of fat on her body...which is long, lean and lithe.  Then she came up to my desk and said, "I'm probably going to wear my other bathing suit tomorrow (she's going to a local warm springs on an Indian reservation with a friend) which makes my boobs look bigger.  Dirty old man that I am, I looked straight at her chest (which I think has a 34 A measurement) and said "your boobs are perfect for your body. You need to look at photos of models and other HEALTHY young women.  You look great!"
The FAT 19 year old

Sigh...with two teenage females living here (ages 16 and 19) I get to see a lot of young women come through the house.  Typical teens, they are all agog and aware of the latest trends in fashion...many will show up in leggings ("THOSE AREN'T PANTS, girls!") and t-shirts or tank tops.  Those leggings don't hide a whole lot (often the young guys who visit are caught "admiring the view" and many are outspoken -- sometimes crudely, sometimes flatteringly).  We live in a rural community which is replete with opportunities for these kids to be involved in physical activities including skiing, swimming, horseback riding, golf as well as specialized gym programs in school such as volleyball, weight lifting, and yoga. Most of the  young people who come here are in extremely good shape in spite of the hours spent on tablets, cell phones and computers. Of course most are not "model pretty" but that's not an issue to them.  They "glow" with health and that's how it should be when you are a teenager. One of Bri's friends said it best, "I feel happy with the way I look."  And Bri says, "I love how I look."

Bri and friend who made above remarks.

I'm not the first "oldster" and I know I won't be the last who bemoans the fashion industry and the anorexic models and movie stars that many of the young people want to emulate.  In spite of the many YouTube videos that show how Photoshop "creates" the look in many of the ads or the pasty looking near skeletons that sashay (when was the last time you read that word?) down the runways, young people and especially girls just light up when they see them.  This isn't doing our young people any good at all.
Model Eliana Ramos ate only apples and tomatoes.  She died at age 21

God/Mother Nature/the Universe or whatever created all sorts of people and in all shapes and sizes.  I grew up standing at a startling 5' 6" !  I always wondered what it would be like to be taller but when young, I played hockey, some baseball, skied, rowed, sailed and never did my height affect my performance.  Now that I have some years on me, I only wish for more height when I'm working on my pickup or changing a light bulb--in both cases standing on a bucket or a short ladder suits me fine. So...I'm short.  So is Tom Cruise! Many successful people aren't petite in size nor are they muscle-bound, either.  Some of the most attractive and successful people in Hollywood are beginning to speak out about being "normal" instead of scary skinny...folks like Jennifer Lawrence (who earned I think 8 million dollars for her last film), Kate Upton (who earns a gazillion dollars for each photo shoot), Valerie Bertinelli, Julie Delpy and so many more.  We and especially the young folk who are around us need to hear this message over and over. The young people
Jennifer Lawrence
should ask models like Kate Upton if they think they are fat! Jennifer Lawrence said something like:

In Hollywood, I'm obese, I'm considered a "fat" actress.  I eat like a Californian, I'll be the only actress who doesn't have anorexia rumors.  I'm never going to starve myself for a part. I don't want little girls to be like 'oh I want to look like Katniss so I'm not going to eat dinner'.

Brava for Lawrence!

I guess this all boils down to a message to my young friends and the young people other adults in my circle touch.  BE YOURSELF!  Don't try to look or be someone else.  The attributes you were born with are what make you beautiful!


  1. I love Disney, I do, but the Princess thing drives me crazy, too! Be a Princess by all means, but be the Princess you are born to be. Be the most amazing YOU at your healthy weight. Be clean, wear flattering clothes that also feel good and be beautiful in your soul. That's what makes you happy and that's what it's all about. Love you because you are you.

  2. Amen, Jo...I especially like the "be beautiful in your soul" since what you feel inside is what you look like outside. Thanks and I agree...even in person at Disneyland, the princesses look like they were stamped from Barbie dolls (well, kind of).


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