All about Bri...

Yesterday I spent the day with my 16 year old daughter.  I mean, I spent just about the WHOLE day.  And it was good. 

I often realize that the time I spend with her is not quality time.  I don't mean to do that, it just happens.  Life is "just too busy" or she's doing things I don't approve of.  Usually when she wants to do something with me, it costs money and like so many others, we're short of that.  Because of the costs that always seem to be involved, I don't do a lot with my daughter...but yesterday, it was different!

About two weeks ago she asked if I'd want to be a judge in a drama festival at her school.  Having considerable experience in the past with teaching and being a part of drama, I agreed--even though I knew it would mean that I'd have to give up an entire day and that day would probably be beautiful (something that  has been a rarity these past few weeks).  And, of course, it was.

She needed some money for the group she was with--to buy pizza and drinks.  Naturally.  As a judge, I was given all sorts of perks--like snacks and drinks--so the only cost to me was the fuel to get to the festival. Most of the youngsters involved (and there were like 325 of them) came from schools all around our state--some traveling several hundreds of miles to get there.  The majority of Bri's drama group were working as "gophers" since the school she attends was the host for the festival.  The other kids likely had a stipend from their schools.  Bri and her friends had to provide for themselves.

The festival involved breaking up students into groups and each group being given a "prompt."  Most groups were made up of six to eight kids.  From the prompt and a "prop," each group had to develop an original skit that followed the rules of dramatics that they had learned and experienced.   As one would expect, with the random groupings of youngsters, the talent varied a great deal in the groups.  Each group had to learn each member's strengths and weaknesses as well as incorporate those into the skit.  This all had to be conceived, composed, developed and produced in about 2 1/2 hours!   The twelve groups I judged  were surprisingly homogenous and in most cases, their skits worked!

This missive is more about Bri than the vehicle that brought it about.  She somehow managed to become my personal slave during the festival.  That meant she was my runner and touch point for locations, paperwork, and information.  It also meant she was with me during all the performances and participated in the warm-up exercises that I had each group do.  It was the first time I saw her reacting with and collaborating with groups of kids out of her personal space here on the ranch.  I liked what I saw.  She has talent that should be nurtured.  She's a leader.  And she's a ham. This wasn't about "boyfriends" or teenage "drama" (which is mostly what she brings home to us).  This was about her growing to become the person she's going to be.  AND I liked what I saw. 

During the lunch break, she had a slice of pizza with her friends and then came into the teachers' room--and remained glued to my side.  She interacted with several people I was visiting with and, at times, took control of the conversation.  I wasn't surprised at all at that.  She has always gotten along well with adults.  The folks I was with engaged her and made all the right noises.  I'm not sure Bri should have been there but since she was, I ran with it.   She certainly came across as a mature, caring sixteen year old girl.  I liked what I saw. Naturally I know a lot about the "other" Bri that we deal with day-to-day but I was impressed with who she was throughout the day. 

I contrast Bri and her behavior with that of a young gal who is living with us for a time...a young gal who has a dysfunctional family and has come to my wife and me for many years to escape, to be comforted, to blow off steam.   I'm not sure what her "fathers" have been like.  The little I know, it doesn't sound like there was much interaction and especially positive interaction.  Maryann and I have always tried to be there for Bri...and yesterday I was glad I was.

I've made a personal commitment to try and be more connected to Bri's life during these last two years of high school.  If what I saw yesterday is anything like what's coming down the road, I like it.

A review...The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

“…one morning long ago in the quiet of the world, when there was less noise and more green, and the hobbits were still numerous and prosperous, and Bilbo Baggins was standing at his door after breakfast…Gandalf came by.”

My 15 year old daughter and I went to see The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey last night.  It was a long awaited and put off trek to the movie theater where we watched J.R.R. Tolkien's classic children's story in regular 2-D format by choice and it was an unfortunate one.

Being a Tolkien afficionado, I've read multiple reviews of this film.  They have been all over the board from simply stunning to pure and total garbage.  Peter Jackson has chosen to make a film that likely won't have the rabid Tolkien fan base froth at the mouth nearly as much as we did because of what he left out.  The Hobbit is nineteen chapters long.  This first installment of three films ran right about 2 hours and forty minutes (not counting credits).  No one but Jackson and his crew know how long the last two parts will be but the figure of a total of nine hours isn't far off the mark.  I can read The Hobbit aloud easily in that amount of time and discuss it as well!  No, no one should complain about what he left out.  Many complaints I'm hearing are about what Jackson put IN IT!.

One complaint was about the dwarf songs...Jackson included several songs sung by the company of Dwarves in Bibo's home at Bag End.  I remember distinctly reading these songs (or not depending on how closely I was reading the book==which has been read many multiple times).   These were not padding.  Tolkien put the songs (and there are many in his tales of Middle Earth) into his books to help share some of the history and give insight into the characters doing the singing.   Jackson brilliantly adapted those songs along with delightful antics by the Dwarf members of the troop.  Th songs did their jobs well and WORKED.

Jackson pulled story lines from the appendices of Lord of the Rings.  He also created content from the "throwaway lines" of the original text.  There is a sub plot of the Necromancer in the "Green Wood"  and a significant plot line of a chief orc, Azog the Defiler.

One friend said that Jackson created a new character with Azog--but no, he worked (likely) for Sauron and was in the original trilogy - the "King of Moria", the mines what Thorin's grandfather attempted to inhabit after being driven from the Lonely Mountain. I think Azog was a goblin in the original.  In this film Azog was the chief antagonist and gave the film the movement and focus necessary to keep the Dwarves and the Hobbit from just wandering aimlessly toward their goal of retaking the Lonely Mountain.  This and other "padding" by Jackson was thoughtfully and beautifully done and provide plenty of action sequences.

The character, Radagast the Brown, is greatly expanded by Jackson.  Radagast is one of the wizards in Gandalf's circle (there are only five and two have gone missing).  He is an eccentric wizard and Jackson seized upon that to make a character who is likeable and certainly helpful to the cause although he is dismissed by Saruman as less than dependable.  If only Saruman knew.

In the novel, Bilbo Baggins is a relatively lazy, affable and incredibly likeable little hobbit.  In Jackson's movie, Bilbo becomes a much misunderstood hero.  He is much more the hero than in the novel and his actions make him stand out.  Nowhere is that more evident than in the "Riddle Game" sequence between Bilbo and Andy Serkis' Gollum.   This part of the film (in the last 45 minutes) has been proclaimed the "best" part of the entire film.   Gollum is amazing.  Bilbo is steadfast and heroic only gives a minor descriptor of his actions.  It was brilliant.

There are battles, there is running, there are scenes a' la Indiana Jones in the depths of the earth.  Throughout the film we are treated to breath-taking New Zealand scenery and views of Imladris or Rivendell.  This is all cemented together by the outstanding performance of Ian McKellan playing once again his imposing Gandalf the Grey.   We are treated to visuals that are startling.  We see intimate details one wouldn't expect (who knew Gandalf's fingernails are so dirty?).  This film was worth the trip.

I'll be going back to see this again in 3-D although not at the 48 frame per second filming that is touted as being so wonderful (closest theater that can do this is 150 miles away).  As I left the theater last night at about 12:10am, I felt exactly what I heard someone leaving ahead of me: " It sux that we have to wait a year for the next one."

WISH

Star light, star bright,

The first star I see tonight;

I wish I may, I wish I might,

Have the wish I wish tonight

We all know this nursery rhyme and I also know that many of us, and I would not hesitate to say nearly ALL of us have done this one time or another--there are times I STILL do at my ripe old age of sixty years.   

Unfortunately, and I don't' remember the numbers I once saw posted, many of those wishes were wasted because that "star" wasn't a star after all but the planet, Venus- which for a good chunk of the year is the first star that appears in the night sky.     That's the astronomer in me talking.

Looking back through the years I've seen very often, my wishes have come true--my family, friends, horses, hobbies are often the result of wishes of one sort or another.  Well, they could be called wishes.   They also could be called prayers or self-belief or taking control of one's life.  Changes and desires can be made to occur by self-reliance.  Napoleon Hill once said, "Whatever you conceive and believe you can achieve." Often, through my life,  this quote and another, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you." which is reported that Jesus said in Luke, 17:6, have been the rudders that I have leaned on.  And in many cases, I've found them to be true for me.

I have never seen any of my great, humongous wishes come true...any that don't make a change in my life personally haven't happened.  I can wish for World Peace or that no one ever be hungry again or violence be stricken from humanity.  But I've learned that those don't happen.  Better, I've decided to wish for or make little changes in the world around me...hoping and praying that those changes are like yawns and are contagious.  If everyone tried to make their little piece of world better - by touching someone or something around them - then the great, humongous wishes just might come true .  By becoming selfless rather than selfish great things can and will occur.

I'm watching a friend make a great number of life changes right now.  She has learned to believe in herself and only recently she told me she was happy.  I'm watching a teenage girl beginning to spread her wings, again because she believes in herself and as a senior in high school is ready to fashion her world into what she wants.  And she will because of her self-reliance.

Wishes and wishing are only a part of the equation.  Believing in yourself and the will to sacrifice for what you want are more of the ingredients.   James M. Barrie (of Peter Pan fame) said,  " Dreams do come true, if we only wish hard enough.  You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything for it. " And he's right!

So next time you see that first star...go ahead and wish on it.  Even if it's Venus, the kernel of your dream will be planted.  But it's up to you to make that wish come true, it definitely is NOT in the stars!

LOVE isn't far from HATE

As close as heaven is from hell, as far as the moon is from the sun, and sitting there right beside you.  This is a paraphrase of how far apart love and hate are.

BOTH are strong emotions.  BOTH are base emotions and likely, beyond the need for food and water are two of the most intense things a human being can feel.


Scientists studying the physical nature of hate have found that some of the nervous circuits in the brain responsible for it are the same as those that are used during the feeling of romantic love – although love and hate appear to be polar opposites. "Hate is often considered to be an evil passion that should, in a better world, be tamed, controlled and eradicated. Yet to the biologist, hate is a passion that is of equal interest to love," Professor Zeki (of University College London)  said.  There is a fine line between the two emotions and reactions to either are keenly sharp.

My wife posted a YouTube on Facebook yesterday.  It was a video of Luciano Pavarotti and Celine Dion singing "I hate you then I love you" and her comment was "Larry and I are beginning our 34th year together and this is a perfect song..... Always Love...not hate, but sometimes we are allowed to not "like". But Always Always LOVE...."  The song, in a nutshell says "I hate you then I love you.  Then I love you and I hate you, then I love you more. For whatever you do, I never never never want to be in love with anyone but you."

I contend that love and hate are not opposites...that they are such close emotions with actions and results so similar that they are basically the same emotion-but one is positive and one is negative.  How often do parents hear from children that they hate us?  We know they don't, it's a spur of the moment thing usually the result of a disciplinary action or not getting their way.  But do parents ever really hate their children?  I think, in most cases, temporarily, yes.  BUT the hate is underscored with love.  As my wife often says, "I love you always but sometimes I don't like you very much."

The problem with hate is the negativity it brings with it.  Negativity feeds itself and gets stronger and stronger.  The more negative a person feels towards a loved one or thing, the stronger the emotion hate becomes.  The only way to release the hate is to let go of the negativity and ultimately, the pendulum will swing back towards love in some manner.

This is evident in my relationship with one of my daughters (just one?). Things are said (or not said); things are done (or not done); or communication breaks down for whatever reason.  I am so emotionally tied to the daughter (s) that I find myself saying, "I hate you, damn it.  You can go to hell, bitch (or worse, much worse)."  In the next breath I'm contradicting myself telling me "I love her." [Yes, I DO talk to myself a lot--that comes from years and years alone on the road.]   In these instances, I'm allowing emotion to take over but the near immediate rebuttal with love is preventing negativity from overcoming  me...God forbid that I hate any of my children.

In the animal world, you don't see hate.  The most intense negative you see is FEAR.  And instinctively an animal will fear something that can hurt them (or eat them) so I'm not sure that is a negative.  However, when an animal loves (and this is another whole blog) a person, it is most often with unconditional love...those of us with dogs can see this daily.  How wonderful it would be to live in a world where love reigns supreme.

I feel that FEAR is actually the opposite of love. Love is embracing.   Fear triggers fight or flight tendencies.  Hate is often bottled up inside eating away at one's pysche.  Again, hate is negative.  We have the free will to choose to love or hate.  Love frees the soul but in a breath, can sometimes suffocate if it is allowed. That suffocation is hate...we need to breathe.  We need to love.

More than a penny saved...

There was an article I found yesterday while reading the news on the internet, sharing the story of a couple who paid cash for their home after zealously saving for two and a half years.  That is remarkable to say the least.  Here's a link to that story. 

The article tells of the ways they were able to save as much as $1700 a month to put towards purchasing that home and ways they earned extra income to help reach their goal-including blogging.

I'm not writing here about their budget. I'm writing about a startling discovery I made when I read the story.  And yes, it's a way to save money---BIG MONEY.

This brief blog is about eyeglasses.   I have myopia (I'm near-sighted).  I've worn glasses since the third or fourth grade.  When I reached my late forties, the optician convinced me that I had a problem reading and seeing things close up.   So he prescribed and I bought bi-focals   None of this is startling news...many of us as we age need reading glasses and many as well are near-sighted. (although to this day, I'm still trying to figure out how we become near-sighted AND far-sighted at the same time).  Over the ensuing years, I've had my eyes checked again and again...of course the prescription changed, too meaning I'd need another new pair of eyeglasses (curiously, the hyperopia - far-sightedness - is the only thing that has changed). 

The last time I had an eye exam, the new glasses with sturdy, bendable titanium frames, cost something like $305.  Since the last eye exam, the economy took a dump and our income did as well.  For the past couple of years, I've made due with eyeglasses and a prescription that is four or five years old.  Well, the frames on that pair of eyeglasses broke for the umteenth time (Remember, I raise horses and sometimes, through no fault of their own, they are knocked off by a flying hoof and a quickly moving head when I'm doing something with the animals- an occupational hazard, to be sure.).  I'm not sure my eyeglass repair person can fix them again so I'm settling for an older, scratched pair for this time.

It's time to get the eyes examined (and perhaps my head, too) for sure right now.  We've been cringing at the cost a new pair will be.  That's where the article I read yesterday comes in.  The author mentioned that they bought their eyeglasses from Zenni Optical.  I'd never heard of them so of course, internet surfer that I am, I checked them out.  All I can say is "wow".

The link to Zenni Optical is above.   To make Zenni Optical work, all you need is a complete prescription in front of you that you can read and accurately type in the the numbers on the prescription.  They have quite a few frame choices from conservative to very crazy (probably more than most optician shops).  they take you through the process step-by-step from choosing a set of frames (and including a way to see exactly how they are going to look on YOUR face) through getting the correct lenses, tints, and multi focal  lenses as well if you need them as I do.

The big deal here is that the cost is amazingly inexpensive.  I mentioned above that the last pair of glasses I bought were $305.  I inputted fairly close information to check prices and a similar frame to "my most recent favorite" frame with light bi-focal lenses that are "progressive" (no-line) and photo-chromic (darken in the sunlight).  I was flabbergasted to see the price-----$50.05!!!!  Without actually completing the order, I don't know if there was shipping included on top of that price but even so...that's saving more than $250!!!

The reviews I read about Zenni Optical were positive.  They have a live chat, an email AND an 800 number if you need help.   Needless to say, I'm going to try them out.   If it works as well as it sounds like it's going to, I may end up with two or three pair of eyeglasses. 



Zenni Optical.com

Crystal Paine, the Money Saving Mom Blog   This blog is loaded with ways to save money from coupon clipping to ways to earn money on the internet.

Let the light shine in

For some this is old news.  But for others of us, it's just another major annoyance being brought to us compliments of our government. But I need to rant so...

 Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007.

BAN THE BULB 

As is normally the case with legislation, this law covers a lot of things. But here is the essence of the short term regulations placed on light bulbs by the Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007:

Light bulbs from 40 watts through 100 watts must be 25% more efficient, by the following dates:
- The beginning of 2012 for 100 watt bulbs
- The beginning of 2013 for 75 watt bulbs
- The beginning of 2014 for 40 and 60 watt bulbs

Since most current incandescent bulbs do not meet this standard, this effectively bans them as of the above dates.

Okay, okay...the 100 watt bulbs are still available due to ANOTHER act of Congress, so they are available through October 1, 2012.  

Thank you very much, Congress.  Have you ever taken your head out from where the sun doesn't shine and seen the effects of some of what you are doing?

Ranchers, Farmers, Homeowners depend on incandescent light bulbs and not just for light

Typical Heat Lamp used by farmers

Incandescent light bulbs are inefficient.  One of the by-products of these light bulbs is heat and it is that very heat that is used by the three above-mentioned groups that make these light bulbs so useful.   As a rancher, I use incandescent light bulbs in specially designed fixtures on cold (freezing cold) days to provide a warm space in a stall for my young babies or sick adult horses.  We also use the same fixtures, as many small scale chicken/rabbit breeders do to provide warmth for those birds and animals.  Like many home owners, we have a 100 watt light bulb hanging and lit in our pump house to keep the temperature warm enough so pipes don't freeze.  For some homeowners, these light bulbs in heat lamp type fixtures make the difference between water and no water under a house that may be old or have a crawl space that is poorly insulated. Sure, in every application I mention above, there are alternatives but none as cheap as a 75 or 100 watt incandescent light bulb to buy or use.  The alternatives range from many dollars more than the cheap light bulbs to hundreds and even thousands of dollars for appliances that serve the very same purpose.

I'm all for saving money.  We have the suggested alternative light bulbs (compact fluorescent lamps or CFL's) in many of our lamps and fixtures in the house.  They cost more, put out an adequate amount of light (only adequate) but they do seem to last longer. In the barn we tried these same type of bulbs with a higher wattage...not only do they work poorly but they are almost unusable.  When placed at the height of the fixtures (generally 12 feet from the ground), the light they emit is feeble.  In cold weather, the feeble output of these bulbs is reduced to be generally useless for any work we need to do that needs lots of light ( a real negative to fluorescent bulbs, they don't like cold weather). We've tried several kinds of CFL's and none work near as well as the old fashioned 100 watt light bulb we have used for years.  At a minimum, the suitable replacement appliance would cost around 100 dollars and we'd need 12 of them (with bulbs that cost $36 each when they require replacement).

I suppose we could get around the eventual ban by just boosting the wattage of the bulbs we use but most of our fixtures aren't designed for (or wired for) that higher wattage so we'd be creating a fire hazard and in some places we just don't go to very often. Strange, 100 watt light bulbs won't be sold but 150 watt ones will!

I have seen many reasons why governments around the world want to ban the incandescent bulb (actually only specific types and wattages--you'll still be able to have one in your refrigerator or in your chandelier even after the ban takes effect).  The main reason keeps going back to energy efficiency (although I have seen global warming and greenhouse gas emissions - related to global warming - as alternative reasons).  Energy efficiency is a wonderful thing--who wouldn't mind seeing their electric bill go down by a couple of dollars? And multiplied by all the people in the world who use the original light bulb, gazillions of dollars/euros/yen will be saved and a whole lot of energy, too.  But to outright ban a tool useful and necessary is just plain dumb.

There is legislation pending that will ban the ban but it is unlikely to be passed.  So, in the meantime, I know we will be stocking up on 100 watt light bulbs (again) in the near future.  If the legislators keep their heads where they are normally, I don't have to worry about Big Brother watching.

GBE-2 Week 36 "An Investment in Time"

sideboard

base of dining table

Along with books, we also collect antiques.  Just sitting at my desk, and scanning the attached office, reception hall, and dining room, I get an eyeful--Maryann's desk is an antique walnut executive desk (mine came from a mass merchant), Bri's is a Mission-style oak desk from the 1930's (mine came from a mass merchant about 7 years ago), there's a 19th century cherry secretary in the reception hall as well as a display cabinet full of "salts" dating from the 18th and 19th century in a corner behind the door. The dining room is dominated by a heavy (oak, I believe) table that is massive in its base with lion claw feet (it has NINE extra leaves!) and a very pretty walnut sideboard with intricately carved panels for the cabinet doors, drawers, and skirting--all from the 1800's. The chairs are somewhat more modern--probably late 1800's or early 1900's--they have claw feet as well and most need to be reglued.  There's a smaller liquor cabinet/sideboard as well that is also intricately carved.  And finally a couple of small side tables and a rocking chair dating from the early 1900's (it's a good sized dining room--considering there is a 55 gallon fish tank in it as well).

Cherrywood Secretary

That's just really two rooms.  I'm not going to take you through a tour of the house.  We mix antiques with modern stuff.  Our decorating style is eclectic to say the least (note the guns in the above photo).

Collecting things appears to be something resembling a human instinct. Many people (like us) are almost natural hoarders and collecting all manner of items has been a common pastime for folks of almost every culture for a very long time. The innate desire to amass and to enjoy objects as well as to make money from them was what prompted many of today's collectors to begin antique collecting as a hobby.  Many folks look at antiques as a way to touch the past and allows them to intimately interact with history.  Indeed a number of our pieces have been in my wife's family for four generations and were old when they were acquired.  Don't tell my daughter, but Maryann's Mom was conceived on the bed she sleeps in (not the mattress).

floor stomper

One thing about antiques is their uniqueness.  Yes, you can go on Ebay and find the same or similar items you're interested in buying or selling but you rarely see hundreds or even tens of items that aren't particularly durable.  In a corner by our wood stove, we have something called a "floor stomper".  According to the dealer we bought it from in Massachusetts, it is from the 1700's and was used to stomp or tamp down dirt floors in pioneer cabins. In our years of collecting, we've never seen another and its rarity is the fact that it is made of wood and as they began to wear down, they were tossed in a fireplace and a new one was carved.  Antiques aren't Walmart or Target items.  They have endured for whatever reason for years and years.  Of course, generally, the older they are, the more valuable they are and some antiques are indeed an investment.  A recent car auction in Scottsdale, AZ had older cars selling for more than two million dollars (and that is in this lousy economy).  Some 17th century musical instruments ( Stradivarius violins come to mind) sell in the same range.  Even old jewelry and sterling silver has become very collectible--partly because of its precious metal weight-- and I often see investment grade estate gems being sold.

It's funny, as we get older, we begin to see stuff we played with as kids or saw our mom's use in the kitchen suddenly go up in value.  Toys are nostalgic and some fetch incredibly high prices.  Kitchen ware from the 50's and 60's is trendy.  I have a couple of boxes of new, in the box, Star Wars toy figures and accessories in the garage.  That stuff will eventually sky rocket in price (especially in new condition).  I guess I'm getting on to be an antique myself.

Vintage Breyer Horses

Collecting antiques covers the age spectrum.  There may be a cookie jar in a kitchen that belonged to someone's grandmother and a child grew up eating cookies from it and eventually started appreciating whatever the figure represented is. That child might end up collecting small things that are reminiscent of the cookie jar.  Young teens often find animal characters appealing.  My daughter has a significant collection of horses (what else?) that just appealed to her.  Most are older than she, some a whole lot older (Breyer horses, mostly but other things, too).  By the time kids are in college they are buying old, beat up furniture for their dorm rooms or apartments...they might, as I did, stumble on a gold mine of furniture from a house that needed to be cleared out after the owners, parents of a friend of mine, died for the cost of moving it.  Several apartments were furnished by that house.  My older sister still has a couple of pieces from that group and unless my brother doesn't have it anymore, I have several pieces in a storage locker in Boston.  I wish I knew more about antiques then...that house was indeed a gold mine.  By the time college years are over and setting up a house or apartment happens for real, old stuff is already ingrained in many minds.

Unless folks are bound and determined to decorate (or dress) in things that are brand spanking new, antiques can appeal to just about everyone.  Things from the 50's and 60's are just as modern looking and impressive as that cookie cutter furniture in a local store and as functional, too-often much better built.  The popularity of reality TV shows such as "Storage Wars" or "American Pickers" have reignited interest in old stuff and some of the pricing on Ebay shows that significantly.

Antiques are an investment in time.  They link us to the past with beauty, function and memories.