Not perfection but please, no mediocrity!

I was just helping Brianna with her English.  She is soooo behind.

Bri is a stubborn girl.  She is doing a "home-school" program through Insight Schools of Oregon but three days a week she attends an all day class at the school she attended for the past six years.   This "class" is actually a support group for the online academy she attends.  I'm not sure what happens in that school during the school days but it appears that Bri is failing most of her classes because she is so far behind--and there's like 5 days left for her to get her work made up.  She's going to be busy.  Bri has rarely asked us for help through the months of this first semester.  We had assumed she was up-to-date. But we all know what ass u me means.

I'm all for this online format.  Bri is an average student with lots of interests.  She's a typical, boy-crazy fourteen year old girl who we are desperately trying to get to focus on what is important to her NOW.  As a parent, I WANT her to succeed in school.  She's bright enough to get "B's" and "C's" at least.  She's already talking about going to college.   But what she wants is going to need discipline and stick-to-it-ness. She's frustrated and feeling the stress.  I've been there when I was in college. I was the "king of procrastination" in undergrad school--at least until I got my head out from where the sun doesn't shine. Frankly, I really feel for her.

We received a letter from the county school system early in the term telling us that she had to pass at least 50% of her courses.  Frankly, I'm a bit worried.  The English class alone is a whole bunch of writing--easy enough for me to look at and see how it could be done but I'm not sure she can.  I know she'll read this so let us hope it is a challenge. The online academy should work for her and the perks that come with it--a laptop, a printer, getting to sleep in a couple of days a week should be a great amount of motivation.  Fingers crossed.

Bri takes a class at the county high school--it's an agriculture class.  She seems to love that one.  She's enthusiastically helped out with some of the class projects.  She has joined the FFA (Future Farmers of America) which will give her lots of skills.  I pray she can transfer that motivation to the rest of her school work.

My wife and I have long said we don't want Bri to go to a public school--at least not full-time.  I taught at them and know what goes on...and how students get lost in the cracks.  The only two Christian high schools in this region are mega-expensive and miles and miles away.  WE had hoped that this online academy would be the answer.  I don't know now.  The local public high school is mediocre at best.  And the one thing Brianna isn't is mediocre (a walking hormone, yes, but not mediocre). 

This is going to be a busy week for Brianna.  I may have to get a horsewhip (only kidding) to help her to focus. My training is in the Language Arts and my love is science.  I can help as much as she needs.  But it's up to her.

"I don't want to be missed, I want to be remembered"

It has come to our attention that the poor young man who took his life yesterday was being bullied and also had broken up with his girlfriend of at least a year (that's a long time at that age, for sure).  Both cases are symptoms of a possible suicidal way of thinking.  A friend of my daughter's was talking to Kyle  at 7:15 pm on his last night of life--he was found dead at about 9:30.

The community has rallied and much praying and grieving is occurring right now.  A sixteen year old young woman who is fairly close to our family posted angrily on Facebook:

"Yesterday I lost a lot of respect for people who took advantage of yesterday to just mess around and for all of the people who did nothing but talk crap.
I didn't even know him but I feel empty and sad, not careless and "too good" to feel hurt. RESPECT, people, please? We need more compashion [sic] and respect and LOVE.
Kyle, I may never have gotten to know you, but I miss you and I love you and you will always be remembered.
I love all of you. ♥

This was referring to the actions of some of the young people in the high school where Kyle attended.  My daughter, Brianna, shared with us the tears and talks that occurred during the day--with tears not limited to girls but the jocks and teachers as well. But others took this day of grief and despair and ran with it as a time for playing and laughter.

For many of these young people, this was their first real brush with the finality of death in their "community".   I know it is for Bri.    Lots of kids and adults, too, are hurting.   There is guilt aplenty, I'm sure--at least the feelings of guilt, I know I've been feeling some. The school did have counselors there for the kids.  There was a "school response team" made up of lay and professionals from the community.  Much was packed into yesterday to honor the memory of this young man who was well-liked, a bubbly jokester who was there for his friends and acquaintances.

The same sixteen year old I mentioned above also posted something last night on facebook that was perceptive, poignant, and profound:  "I don't want to be missed, I want to be remembered."

I don't know the source of that statement but the fact she picked up on it and agreed with it shows significant maturity.  I mentioned yesterday that every young person has something to give to the world whether they have discovered what it is yet or not.   All of us want to be significant and young people are no different.

Most of the young people I'm involved with are caught up in many different extra-curricular activities (and most have to do with livestock).   I've known for years that the more involved a young person is, the more dedicated they are to an activity or five, the more satisfaction and energy they put into living.   I remember teaching in eastern Oregon and producing a play.  A lot of the actors and actresses came to rehearsals after practicing for a sports activity and then went home later to do their chores and THEN their homework.  Kids want to be busy, they need to be busy.   It's through this "busyness" that they become significant.  They don't have to be "A" students...they just have to be involved.  And the more absorbed they in an activity, the less the opportunity to be bored and nurture a feeling of worthlessness.

No kid deserves to die, obviously.  They crave attention.  They need encouragement.  They look for direction.  WE adults need to provide this...to our children and to those others we are involved with.  It's up to us, as well as them.  Let's help each of the young people in our circle of life be one who is remembered.

Teens at risk--they need you!

As a community, we're grieving today for a 15 year old boy who took his life.  I know his name and I know my daughter knew him.  Other than that I don't know anything.  It doesn't matter.  The loss of any young life in this manner is tragic.  Frankly the loss of any young life is heart-rending, period.

Over the years I've had the opportunity to touch many young people, as a teacher, as a foster parent, and as a friend.   Through those years I've lost some young people who I knew pretty well.  Those weren't pre-meditated suicides but rather drunken crashes by thrill-seeking adolescents, middle and late teens.

Being a teenager is difficult.  It's a gray area between childhood and adulthood where the peer pressure is nearly overwhelming, the body is producing hormones with abandon, schoolwork is difficult, family life is often problematic, love interests are intense and the end result of them is often devastating. 

Learning how to cope with the myriad of things being thrown at a teen is tough and something generally ignored in school.  Sure schools have trained counselors but they are overwhelmed with lots of bureaucratic duties and often just deal with "problem childs" on a day-to-day basis.  Most families are busy and parents have little or no training or experience to help their kids cope other than their own life experience.  And sometimes, family communication can be an issue as well.

When I grew up, a parish priest from my Roman Catholic family was my confidante.  He was an easy to talk to man and I remember pouring out to him all of my trials and tribulations as a teen.  My daughter tells me that this deceased young man was a member of her Youth Group at one time--so he had access to the adults, both of the cloth and not, to talk over whatever he wished.  Did he choose to do that?  I don't know but it's unlikely.

Not all young people are brilliant in school, tremendous on the sports' field, excelling in 4-H, talented in shop or on the stage but each and every one of them is precious and has something to give to his or her fellow man.  He/she just might not have discovered it yet. 

As a friend of mine on Facebook pointed out, "it [suicide]  is ... a permanent solution to a temporary problem." The issue is that many young people don't see their problems as temporary.  Their world and life view is limited and if they have to cope alone (or choose to cope alone) leaving this world behind might be the only solution they see.   The young man who took his life last night must have thought that way and didn't have the support to urge him to see beyond whatever the issue was.

If you have a young person or a teen in your life, hug them and tell them you love them.  Don't belittle their problems and talk to them.  This is so important to them even if they are rolling their eyes while you are doing it.

According to some statistics I have read, 15% of teenagers in this country have contemplated suicide.  Many of them felt and feel alone, very alone.   They need to know that in their circle, there is someone who supports them...that there is someone who believes in them.  Just let those in your life know that YOU BELIEVE.

I pray for this young man perhaps a little bit too late.  I send his family and friends my prayers as well.

A little slice of my life

Most of what I write here will  be about my ranch life (including my family and friends) ,  my love for astronomy and some teaching along with it (including many pretty pictures), and things about goals.

Slice of life writing is what I like to do best.  My life has many important facets (well, important to me).  This ranch is nearly all-consuming with the time and energy that's needed.

For those who don't really know me (and the first five blogs in this series just barely touch on the me part), I'm an old fart (only old though when I look into the mirror), nearly 60 years old.  I started blogging on MySpace, tentatively putting my feet into the water of writing nearly 6 years ago.  600 blogs later, MySpace sort of collapsed and most of my friends on MySpace emigrated to Facebook.  I hated Facebook and in some ways still do.  One of the things I disliked most is that it didn't give us a true outlet for exercising our creativity--either in page design or writing (other than "Notes" but that is most unsatisfactory).  It did however allow me to find many, many people I've lost through the years--former students, co-workers, girl friends, best friends, foster children and so on.  That is for me its biggest strength.  I wasn't able to blog though and I just plain stopped writing.

Our ranch is in Oregon in a tiny hamlet called Powell Butte.  We have around 45 acres with about 35 acres of irrigation water.  That last is a big deal. This is the high desert and without water not a whole lot grows other than sage, rabbit brush and juniper trees.  Our ranch has a nearly 20 acre hay field, more than ten acres of grass pasture, a small but inspiring juniper forest and then about five acres of fenced paddocks and runs for our horses.  We live in the middle of a triangle of three cities, indeed the major cities in Central Oregon.  Shopping for us is easily accessible with a ten mile drive to two of those cities.

Our place in Powell Butte

On the ranch, we raise horses.  We have something like seventy of them with the majority being either miniature horses and ponies.  Miniature horses have been my wife's and my passion for twenty years now.  Sometimes our daughter, Brianna (14 years old), shares that passion since she grew up on the ranch ( Actually, she just admitted to me the other day that she knows she lives a girl's fantasy---growing up surrounded by ponies.  So, just maybe there's hope.).  Over the years we have had many, many miniature horse and pony babies--a fact that anyone who reads this regularly will see come spring, I love talking about and showing off our babies!  Our youngsters, most either children or grandchildren of major names in the miniature horse and pony industry with parents who are champions themselves,  are all over the United States now and in other countries, many being shown successfully.

Some of our herd (top) and Bri and foal many years ago (bottom)

I work with an organization called Sunriver Nature Center and Observatory which is a non-profit educational facility about 45 miles away from here.  I've been with them in varying capacities over the last fourteen years--mostly as a volunteer at evening astronomy programs or in remote locations selling astronomy supplies at what are called Star Parties.  I'm also the editor of their two quarterly newsletters--one of which I'm the principal writer for as well. It is largely because of Sunriver Observatory that a long dormant interest in astronomy was awakened to become a passion.

Sunriver Observatory Dome one night we had a comet

My wife, Maryann (who I will call often MA--not Maw but M.A.) and I have been married for 33 years  As in any marriage we've had our tumultuous times (mostly my fault, of course) but generally, we are best friends, still in love and are a team.  We built our ranch from a dream which hasn't yet been realized totally.

Larry and Maryann

We have one daughter at home, Brianna, but we also have 19 foster children (some of whom we claim as our REAL children) none official.  We were a "safe house" for young people and of course, in the latter years there were the horses who were therapy as well as amusement. We had kids show up at our door asking us for a place to stay when things were tough for various reasons in their real families.   We still welcome young folks in our home through Brianna and we're often called their 2nd (or 3rd) Mom and Dad by them--which is great.  Of course, we now have grandchildren through some of those foster kids as well.

Bri on her gelding, Beau

Bri showing her rabbit, Lily, in August 2011

The grandkids, Ashley, Brendon and Hannah

I have worked as a teacher, a writer, a horse transporter, a landscaper, in retail, as a salesman and a sailing instructor.  My biggest achievements in the working world all occurred as a teacher and not just in the formal sense of teaching which I did love indeed. I teach now in most of what I do, whether it be astronomy, the horses, the ranch, the family and when I reach out to people.  That is when I am happiest.

So, after this altogether too long introduction, I'll just say thanks for reading.  Hopefully you like what you see here and if you do please comment.  If you don't, please comment as well. 

The Selfless Romantic or the me I want to be

I taught English and English Literature for a lot of years.   And for many of those years I worked with students who had to read Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet--usually freshmen in high school who, of course, know everything there is to know about love both real and imagined.  So many of them had (HAVE) posters on their bedroom walls with their latest celebrity crush. Once those youngsters could get beyond the foreign language Shakespeare wrote in, they certainly could understand the story.  They were able to identify with the term "unrequited love" and by the time we were done could see how timeless the tale of Romeo and Juliet is and in final papers were able to identify parts of the tale in their own lives.  

The point they rarely could make sense of was that of unconditional love no matter how I tried to explain it.  I mean, heck, Juliet still loved Romeo desperately even after he killed her cousin and in a speech, Romeo spoke to Tybalt in his tomb and spoke of loving him even though Romeo would have died if Tybalt had the better luck. Teenagers are too selfish to understand love with no strings attached.  


I'm thinking of family units right now.  I wrote a blog years ago on MySpace that discussed family units and defined them in circles--the core family, the inner circle and so on. Family is so very important, especially in times such as these when money's tight and the extra put away has already been spent.  Family (and I don't necessarily mean blood-related family here) is the best support group we have.  Those are the people who love us unconditionally, who will share what they have be it food, knowledge or just support when things go sour without expecting anything in return. This is the concept that teens don't understand (and some adults as well).  

We've had many young people in our lives.   Most felt (or feel) the world revolves around them.  We have literally had instances where two teenage girls vied for our attention and love so much they almost came to fisticuffs.  They didn't understand that love has no limits.  My daughter, Brianna, often points out that my golden retriever, Randy, is jealous of the puppy and the attention I give him.  She doesn't see that Randy is secure in his knowledge of how I feel about him.  I adore him and he knows it. He gets his special time or attention.  The puppy, on the other hand, has to have my attention and I can't, in his peanut brain, give any other animal here (or humans for that matter) any affection or love without barging in.  Like the young folks in our world, it's all about him.  Like Randy, and like those teenagers, the puppy will eventually grow up and discover that they get out of the world and life what they put into it.

I'm a romantic.   According to Dictionary.com, that means I'm "fanciful, impractical and unrealistic."  But, I'm also "imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry, etc."  I'm not sure how I can be both but doing a bit of soul searching and I find, yes, I am.   That romanticism permeates my life--especially the idealistic part.   I find myself imagining a world thoroughly filled with unconditional love for our fellow man.  Selflessness or altruism has been something I've wanted to define myself with for a long time.  When I'm in my bipolar stages, I've often described myself as a doormat.  That may be taking altruism a bit too far but I've often thought that I was placed on this earth to help people, to hold them up, to make them smile. Just typing that last I am smiling to myself.

The tale of two star-crossed lovers: one Capulet, one Montague reeks of romanticism.  That tale has been analyzed to death but it all boiled down to two dead teenagers who were idealistic, in love, and were selfless--they sacrificed themselves for love unrequited and unconditional. Our world today lacks love, respect and selflessness.  Ayn Rand (an author especially popular in the 1960's and 1970's who preached a philosophy called Objectivism) claimed that "If any civilization is to survive, it is the morality of altruism that men have to reject."   Her feelings that man has to have his own happiness and personal productive achievement as a primary goal is a guiding principal for many today.  This is evident in business, politics, and many individual lives.

These blogs I write will often be focused on personal achievement and the reaching of goals.  But the motivation behind them will be to become the best you can be--not to make the most money or to be the most successful but the satisfaction and pride of accomplishing something to be better.  And all will have a thread of love that runs through them.

How can this be a job when I love it so much? Sunriver Observatory

It's a 45 mile drive to Sunriver Nature Center Observatory from here.  Sadly, I don't do it enough anymore in the evenings and that's certainly my loss since what I do there is a part of what I live for.

Bu

Sunriver Nature Center Observatory

Arriving at the observatory at around 8 or 9 pm (depending upon the time of the year), there are already people there and waiting.  The doors to the observatory are open and folks are milling around the buildings, many looking at all the instruments with a little bit of awe.  They realize, especially when they see the telescope in the dome, that this isn't exactly what they expected.  This place IS serious. Indeed, it is one of the largest public observatories in the United States

Going to the observatory isn't about the telescopes.  It's about the people:  about the curious, the dreamers, and the questioners.  As a staff member, I've been told often that this isn't about science, it's about entertainment.  Sunriver Resort is a high-end destination and in the evenings it rolls the sidewalks up and shuts down except for the restaurants.  There's nothing for the visitors to do.  Sure, folks can drive 15 miles to Bend and find movie theaters, bowling alleys, bars and nightlife but the resort is quiet....the observatory is the only thing happening in the evenings. So, yes, in a way, the observatory is entertainment.  But it's so much more. 

The observatory staff is made up of a mix of paid employees and volunteers.  Many of us are 50 or 60 somethings.  But there are a couple of young guys and, during the busy season, young women who are a part of the working group, too.  All of us are there for one thing, really, and that's to interact with the public guests who have come to see....  Most of us have at least a little bit of knowledge and none of us are true professional astronomers.  We love to share what we know and most are very animated when sharing.

 Orion Nebula through Hubble Space Telescope (top)

Orion Nebula through 14 inch reflecting telescope (bottom)

Looking through the eyepiece of a telescope opens up untold wonders and beauty.   What we see isn't what the news reports show us very often---those are photos and to be frank, human eyes aren't very good in the dark--cameras are so much better (like the top photo, above).  But what we do see is magnificent and LIVE.  The images we see have traveled untold millions and millions of miles and sometimes over many centuries and millenia (and beyond) to reach our eyes (light only travels about 6 trillion miles in one year.  The closest star to us is more than 30 trillion miles away!).  As staff members, we try to instill that awe in our guests if it hasn't already touched them.

One of our favorite things is to share a fellow solar system planet, Saturn--ahh, Saturn, the Queen of Planets.  We hear often from our young guests (and we never tire of it) the question or comment, "That must be a picture stuck on the telescope!"  Saturn just looks THAT good! We try very hard to give the public a good time.  Hopefully, most do.

 Saturn

My favorite part of being in the observatory other than sharing views through the telescopes is answering questions and those question run the gamut from very serious, scientific questions to silly questions about aliens or conspiracy theories.   We deal with the public and that means we deal with people from all facets of life and experience.  It's great fun.  I also love to teach and sometimes my answers to those questions can get a bit long-winded.  Usually the questioner is polite and listens...sometimes with rapt attention.  I know deep down inside, if I can touch just one person and ignite a love for the night sky and what it has to offer, all is worth it-especially if that one person is a youth with a whole life ahead of them.

Part of the experience at the observatory is a multimedia presentation by one of the staff.  I get to do these sometimes and I love them.  The talks are all designed by the speaker and it's a chance to entertain, teach, inform and just plain share the love we all have of the universe.  By far our best speaker is our observatory manager but then, that's the way it should be--he does them most often and he also teaches Astronomy courses at our local college.  He's a clown but a knowledgeable one (he's also likely my best male friend).

If this all sounds a bit like a sales presentation, well it is.  But that's because Sunriver Observatory is such a wonderful place.  As I said at the outset, I don't get to go there often enough at night anymore. Until we buy a vehicle that gets fantastic gas mileage, that's going to remain the case because I'm a volunteer in the evenings (I do other work for the organization I am paid for).  It's a 90+ mile round trip.  But as I also said, it's what I do and what I live for.  There are some people who work and then there's THIS.   Come and visit if you can, it'll be well worth the trip.

Sunriver Observatory is part of the Sunriver Nature Center and Observatory, a non-profit educational facility

All they want...

One of the two dogs  most loyal to me (in our family of five dogs) is pictured here.  This is Rand McNally a.k.a. as Randy.

Randy is nine years old this year and we've had him since he was about four months old.  His history and his coming to us is quite the story which I won't chronicle here--it'd be too much like a proud parent showing snapshots of their children:  a topic fascinating to the parent and not many others.   Suffice it to say, a lady in Massachusetts gave Randy to me as a thank you for some special treatment of a baby horse I was transporting to her.  Randy traveled across the United States with me on one of my "long routes" which took me through Texas.

About two and a half years ago, Randy, who was extremely overweight (140+ pounds), was diagnosed with a thyroid condition.  After blood tests, he was put on a daily drug to level this out.  It was a success and he's now a  svelte 90-ish pounds (he goes up and down depending on how much food he can steal from my puppy). 

Said puppy joined our household in April, 2011.  This photo was taken in May:

From before Dietre even arrived, I kept talking to Randy about "his baby."  Randy accepted Dietre from the very first minute and they are fast friends now, eight months later.

Early in the summer, I was working and received a call from Maryann, my wife.  Randy was having convulsions!  She was terrified. This gentle giant of a dog was having a full blown epileptic seizure episode and there was absolutely NOTHING she could do.

Needless to say we took Randy to one of our vets and he immediately blew off his condition with "he's epileptic, many middle-aged dogs become that way."   He prescribed phenobarbital to help alleviate the severity of the seizures--another drug Randy will need for the rest of his life.  Since he started on the drug, the frequency and severity of Randy's seizures has been reduced.  He's had a number of minor episodes and a couple of major ones.   As his person, I've been there for most of them and the feeling of helplessness and dread is all-consuming. I've done a lot of research and it's likely Randy will have these seizures for as long as he lives.

All this is leading up to my topic for today.  Pets are important in many of our lives be they dogs, cats, horses, goats, monkeys or whatever.  We adopt these animals and bring them into our lives.  They depend on us for just about everything but demand very little except our attention and our love.  I see Randy or Dietre watching me with big, soulful eyes.  They love without condition and accept no matter what we do or who we are.  I pop Dietre on his butt for doing something bad--it's only a matter of a minute or two before he comes back to me wiggling and begging to be loved.

My wife is very involved in animal rescue.  For those of you who follow her on Facebook, you see or read about animals who have been treated terribly by their keepers.  In most cases, those animals aren't angry at the world or the people who mistreated them--they accept and go on . . .  or not. For animal lovers, this summons up anger and tears.

We are animal nuts here at Miniature Ventures.  Our list of animals goes on and on and on.  We love each and every one of them and  their health and safety is imperative to us.  The thought of mistreating or abusing any one of them is foreign to us and we can't understand the mentality of people who do. But we live in the real world and know this goes on every day.

Our local animal shelter is a non-kill facility.  That means they do their utmost to find homes for all the animals brought to them.   When we first moved here, I brought them eighteen feral cats which we live-trapped.   They were able to rehabilitate the vast majority of them and placed them in adoptive homes.   This is important to us.   We don't live in a huge community but the shelter more often than not is over-flowing with pets of all kinds and ages.  Maryann often posts photos of animals who need homes and has had success fairly often.   We have adopted several cats and an elderly dog from our shelter and will continue to do that as we can.  We love animals and it's not their fault that they are here and perhaps homeless. Generally, except for the horse babies we produce, we are a "forever home" for those creatures both great and small.

I've read case studies and stories about animals who have been able to touch and change autistic children; about animals who can reduce blood pressure for those who have hypertension; about animals who have brought back to life people who they loved; about animals who have rescued whole families from fire; and about animals who have traveled thousands of miles to find the people they loved.  Creatures are a gift to us humans.   Watching tropical fish in a tank is a tremendous stress-reducer.  Seeing a herd of young horses galloping across a field is something that can take one's breath away.  Puppy kisses make more than babies laugh!  Cuddling up with a best friend or two while reading a good book or watching a movie is incredibly satisfying.  Having an animal friend you can talk to or cry to without fear of judgement or recrimination  is remarkable.  They DO talk back...it's in their eyes.  It's in their love.

All our pets ask is for us to love them.  They return that love with loyalty.  They return that love in kind.  Our animals can overwhelm us with their love.  And they want so little in return .

Unless their name is Dietre.  He wants it all (smile).